An Autistic Anime Elf Teaches Projective Empathy

Have you ever had that feeling where someone shares your special interest, and you become instant best friends? Have you tried doing that when being on the autistic spectrum? Frieren: Beyond Journey's End helped me understand the value of connections despite life's transience and how it helped me come to terms with my autism.

As a mature student attending college at 33, I've watched my fair share of anime. Some are objectively foolish, while others offer a few good ideas. Frieren starts like many anime, following a Tolkien-esque party of heroes on a quest to defeat a vaguely established demon king and save the world. However, where this story stands out is in its unique start. The titular Frieren is a long-lived elf, a species for whom the average person's lifespan is but a fraction of hers.

50 years after the group scatters, she reunites with her friends after time has taken its toll on them physically. This is where the show presents its thesis: how can a person form meaningful connections when life is so short? Frieren herself is a self-declared asexual character who is very autistic-coded. Her hyper-obsession with collecting just the right books, her self-isolating nature, her finding it hard to understand what others are thinking or feeling and seeming blunt, rude or not interested in others without meaning to. Watching her lament that she never got the chance to bond with the people around her, not out of malice but simply because it never occurred to her to do so, struck a chord.

Each episode subtly reflects on the bonds she made during the journey and how each interaction, no matter how small, shaped her without her even realizing it. One of my favourite interactions is when Frieren explains that her motivation to help people isn't entirely altruistic, but simply what her now-dead friend would do. For those of us with autism, we engage in social masking, a technique of presenting a character to the world that we wish to see appear neurotypical.

This is the first series I've watched where the core ethos was empathy. Not empathy in the way of understanding my foes and turning enemies into friends, but more the deep empathy of trying to decode why one's friends mean what they do and what moments in life, no matter how fleeting, shape a person.

I know that these four years of college will be a fraction of my time in this world. Once everyone has headed off into the world it might be 50 years before I see my classmates again. Frieren encourages me to connect anyway, to figure out what people like, what they hate, and what they can teach me about living a better life. When I come back around for a reunion after I have fought my demon lord in the path of life, these short, fleeting moments will be what shaped me into who I am.

It's okay not to understand the people around you and still feel happy. It's okay to watch what those around you do and try to search for your happiness by following in their footsteps. As time moves faster, people who are growing up in real-time next to you inspire you every day.

Expressing emotions for people is not the hard part, but for those of us with autism, there is always that extra step of attempting to diagnose what we are feeling at all times, what causes us discomfort, and how to avoid it. Watching a character be neurodivergent is a great comfort in many ways. Frieren’s main objective is to collect rare and unique spells because performing them always was able to get a positive reaction from her last group of friends, and because she finds it interesting. Finding that intersection between my special interests and people who appreciate them is something I strive for as well.

The show also has a fantastic reflective soundtrack, smooth animation, and great effects. The dub acting is phenomenal, and I am excited to see how it progresses as the series is still airing. I hope that the reflective nature is maintained, as that is what makes it truly unique. Not enough people ask the question of why people are important to us. For the neurotypical, it can be obvious, but for those of us who fit outside the norm, it can take a lifetime to define who we are to those around us.

It's rare in fiction for the protagonist to be mostly passive in the story, as events often happen around her. But that again ties into the theme of the things we learn from those around us.  Frieren’s explores the idea that a neurodivergent person can try and emulate what grants other people happiness in a lifelong quest to build connections that we ourselves might not even realize we are doing. To this character, power and possession are meaningless, as the only true currency is memories.